Pappa wants mamma naked
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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