I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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