This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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