he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
that is very illegal...i love you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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