Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
