Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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