just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
