i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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