Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
