i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
