Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
