I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize