No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
