Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
