We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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