so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
