I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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