make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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