I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
