filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
