sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
