I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
