I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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