I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
