I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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