did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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