i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
should my penis look like a turkey
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
