Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
