Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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