I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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