Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
