it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
