My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
