They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
