All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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