dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
