Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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