Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
