woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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