Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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