I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
