It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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