so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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