I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
