Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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