There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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