so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
