Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
