just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
