they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
