My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize