one two three fourrrrnication!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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