I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
