margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
