quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
