I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
