I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
