there's paper in my vomit.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
