Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
