I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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