A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize