five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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