Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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