school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
