Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize