he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
