yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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