We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
