Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
