butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
