Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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