May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
