I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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