Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
