i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
