i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
