the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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